Handy Products



  • Trouble getting up in the morning? Buy Clocky! If you keep hitting the snooze button, Clocky will drop off its stand, roll around the room, find a "safe hiding place" and start beeping. Or you could just buy the generic "Flying Alarm Clock" which launches a propeller into your room and does not stop beeping until you have returned the propeller to its base.
  • Ladies! Do you ever need to pee standing up? Buy a P-mate. A sample testimonial: "I am a woman that hunts/fishes and have shared my backside with TOO MANY OTHERS. Thanks for restoring my dignity in the woods."
  • This website asks: "Are you tired of the 'bobbing' effect on the busy metropolitan sidewalks?" If you too want a hand's-free umbrella, buy a Numbrella!

  • For $2, you can buy Holy Drinking Water. You can even get a job! Their website says they "are currently accepting applications for blessing [their] drinking water" from ordained clergy.
  • You may have to wait to buy this, but there is a US patent out for a life-expectancy timepiece. A description: "A timepiece for monitoring and displaying the approximate time remaining in a user's life. . . Buttons or switches are provided to enter and change the stored data so that the approximate time remaining in the user's life can be reset by the user." As to why: "Life expectancy has been a major concern of people throughout the ages. Insurance companies routinely develop and publish actuarial tables to indicate the average lifespans of certain people in specified groups. . . It would also be advantageous to monitor the probable remaining time left in one's life on a yearly, hourly, and even seconds basis." Sign me up!

7 comments:

satire and theology said...

Is that you in the photo?;)

I hope your weekend is good.

Rebecca Hickman: said...

Ha! Thanks for making me laugh.

odd facts said...

satire and theology: Never! I'm not that urban looking. And I haven't mastered the coy half-smile. I've been working on it though. It's tough. And thank you, my weekend was awesome. I kicked the GRE's butt! I'm so glad it's over.
rebecca hickman: Thanks for dropping by.

Baba Doodlius said...

The Numbrella. I can now say that I have heard it all.

And you wouldn't look at all like an idiot wearing one, either!

satire and theology said...

Congrats on the GRE and the Technorati ranking, that is a huge boost.

odd facts said...

satire and theology: Wow! I had totally missed that! Thanks!

i beati said...

omg can you see the propeler flying and people swatting at it hahaha